EXIT STAGE RIGHT
by Jim Kaness

The curtain is up, the lights are dim, and the house is packed with an audience eagerly anticipating the next surprise in the play. The actor delivers his lines flawlessly and when he comes to the end of those lines he already knows that the script then says, “Exit Stage Right”.

But the actor only pauses, then stops near center stage and does… nothing. He just stands there and the audience grows first expectant, then nervous wondering what is about to happen. But nothing happens. The cast is waiting for the actor to exit the scene. The audience does not know what is supposed to come next.

After waiting some moments the Director orders the curtain closed so he can deal with this unexpected event as quickly and unobtrusively as possible.

What is to be done in life with those who refuse to follow the script, the directions given them, the customs society expects of them? The actor who will not leave the stage, the drunk who will not leave your home, the employee who will not follow the boss’ orders, the child who will not obey his parents, the immigrant who will not enter legally – all these are familiar to us. They cause us problems. They demand that we take a stand or some action because, to do nothing about them, is to abdicate our authority to them and allow them to dictate to us how we shall live.

Confrontation is hard work. The need for it suddenly and unexpectedly rearranges our priorities and our schedule for the day’s activities. It may cause us to question our own values, and to ponder the validity of our own decisions. We grope anxiously for the right thing to say, the right action to take to get past this obstruction and get on with our day.

Some in our culture want us to pause in these situations and examine the motives and goals of the other party. Is his cause somehow just and deserving of a closer look? Has the actor stopped because he is ill, or because he does not like the play, or what? But such pauses remove the issue from one of authority versus anarchy to one of a spirited debate in which the better debater wins the debate without regard to the rights of others who may somehow be affected by the outcome of the debate. Until the play resumes (if it does at all) the audience is out their money and time, and the success of the play is in doubt.

But can we debate which side of the street to drive on with a driver approaching us head-on? Can we debate social injustice with the angry young man while he is mugging us? Can we debate with our child whether to have cereal or chocolate for breakfast? Can we debate with a drunk at all, about anything? While the audience waits anxiously, how long can we debate with the actor his reasons for not exiting the stage?

These confrontations require hard work. They require action. They require first priority from us or they will repeat and repeat and repeat until they finally get enough attention from us. They first require the authority of our position (director, parent, boss, homeowner, etc) and voice, stating what is expected. When that fails they require the authority of our action- an ultimatum with a choice: “You will do such-and-such or the following consequence will occur”. When that fails we must be willing and able to carry out that consequence, and do it as quickly as possible.

When we are unwilling or unable to carry out the stated consequence, then we have abdicated our own authority in the matter and given it over to our adversary who will now be in control and tell US what to do.

The above authoritarian approach is, in my opinion, necessary for many situations in life where the decisions and actions can have serious and far-reaching consequences. There is certainly room in life for discussion, negotiation, compromise, and even unfettered personal choice where the decisions made have minimal far-reaching consequences, especially to other people. For example, what to eat for dinner is limited by what the cook has to offer and what one’s budget can afford. Within those bounds the choice is arbitrary (of course if one is on some restricted diet then the choice becomes much more complicated).